Breastfeeding My Toddler

As its national breastfeeding week I thought I'd write an update on how H and I are getting on.

H is now 17 months and I'm still breastfeeding him. For the most part I love breastfeeding, I love the closeness and being able to comfort my son however there are times when it isn't all sweetness and light. H has taken to clambering over me, nursing for 15 seconds a side then switching and then switching again until finally settling down or hopping off. From what I've read this is "normal" but on a bad day it does make me lean towards weaning him.

H feeds first and last thing with another substantial feed either before his morning or afternoon nap and then a few sips throughout the day. He isn't brilliant at eating solids but in the past 2 weeks his drinking has increased ten fold. I know he'll get there with his eating, as with most things I'm just following his lead. He is also following the all important line in his red book so the HV is more than happy with him.

My feelings regarding weaning are ever changing and I've tried to read as much as I can to give myself a good idea of what's best for H and me. Ideally I would like him to self wean but at the same time I would prefer to have some idea of when that would be. For me I'm hoping for two years at the latest but I've read it can take months more than this, sometimes even years. I want to (mostly) enjoy breastfeeding and I worry after 2 years it will become more of a chore and an obstacle for future babies. Yes I know you can BF during pregnancy but is it for me?! 

I've chosen 2 years because (fingers crossed) all H's teeth will be through by then and when he's teething he feeds constantly. I love that I can feed H through teething and offer him comfort through nursing. It helps take a lot of the stress away from the situation.

I like the idea of gentle weaning and I'm thinking of implementing this at around 18 months which is when I want to stop night feeds. H still wakes up at least twice for a feed in the night and because we co-sleep the easiest thing is to feed him back to sleep.

The best thing about gentle weaning is that it takes H's emotional needs into account and minimises any distress. Guiding him to wean as opposed to forcing him. 

All this being said I am still very sure of my choice for extended breastfeeding - the massive amounts of benefits don't suddenly become void once a baby reaches 6 months and I think emotion-wise they actually increase. If H is overwhelmed in a situation he often has a quick 15 second feed and then he's off. I also don't worry about him depending on me, he's very sociable and I've read that extended breastfed babies (that's a mouthful!) are often more independent as they are more secure. 

As with all my BF posts this one is a bit of a jumble which nicely echoes my internal thoughts! Every decision I make I second guess and in the end I do just go with what makes H happiest (within reason). In an ideal world H will self wean in the next few months but we'll see and hopefully I'll be able to gradually wean him if not... I'll keep you posted!

Our Breastfeeding Journey - An Update

A few months ago I wrote about feeling that the time had come to wean Little H and wrap up our breastfeeding journey, I even had a date in mind (26th February or failing that 22nd March).

Alas, you know what they say about best laid plans and all, I am still breastfeeding and do you know what I have no regrets and I am, for the most part, enjoying it as much as ever.

Our feeding "routine" generally consists of a feed first thing, one mid morning, one late afternoon, one before bed and, if I'm lucky, one during the night. This is a very general view though as some days I can't detach Little H from me and other times he'll go for hours on end without wanting any milk. Also, unlike the early days a "feed" can be a 2 minute suckle used as a crutch to get Little H to sleep or it can be a 15 minute refuel before the next adventure.

There have been worries on my part that H is feeding too much, often foregoing solids for milk, however restricting milk hasn't worked and I'm slowly coming to the conclusion that he just isn't a big eater - he will try and (usually) enjoy many things but in terms of quantity he can vary from a few bites to demolishing a plateful while my back is turned.

I've also had comments that he's feeding too much from various people, not something an already worry prone mum needs to hear, no matter how concerned you may or may not be FYI! A trip to the health visitor eased my angst though, she declared Little H a "snacker" and told me in no uncertain terms that you cannot breastfeed too much, no matter the age of the child. I should add that I do give Little H a dose of vitamins every day just to silence the residual worries.

My gorgeous Milk Monster!

When I was proactively trying to wean H we did come across a pretty big stumbling block, a possible allergy to cow's milk. It's hasn't been proven and strangely he can eat cheese/yoghurt/formula but a drink of milk will sometimes, not always, cause an angry red rash to spread wherever the milk has touched. This rash, it should be said, is a bugger because it appears with no rhyme or reason, broccoli, cauliflower, fish and porridge to name a few have all brought it on but not every time Little H has eaten them. A trip to the doctors left me with more questions than answers and a prescription for a big bottle of Piriton for when it happens.

I was told by the HV to keep a record of Little H's reactions to cow's milk for at least a month and they would investigate if necessary. Timing foiled my plans though as he was poorly on and off for a month and I refused to add to this by giving him something that may or may not have made him feel worse. Instead I tried him on follow on milk and (touch wood) he has taken this with no ill effects.

As I mentioned, Little H can have formula and seemingly enjoys it when I'm not there, if I am there though he will not be fooled - he is a stubborn one! This is a major relief for me as I don't have to express for days on end now before leaving him with anyone and in time I can start to replace feeds knowing that he does like it, just maybe not as much as booby juice!

In the meantime though I ŵill continue breastfeeding, and try not too moan too much about feeling like a dairy cow!

To Wean Or Not To Wean: Our Breastfeeding Journey

From the point that I found out that I was pregnant with Little H I was determined to breastfeed, I grabbed the leaflets from the midwives at check ups, I was well versed on the benefits and I had studied all of the latching positions, planning for every eventuality.

Then Little H arrived and I was turned upside down.

His birth, a moment that I had dreamed about, was drawn out, traumatic and ended in me haemorrhaging. Because of this we missed out on the immediate skin to skin contact that I had just taken as a given, and for the first night he slept in the nursery and was fed formula while I recovered.

The next morning he was brought to me and our breastfeeding journey began. It was so much harder than I had ever thought it would be and what was meant to be the most natural thing in the world did not come naturally to me. Being on the special care ward meant that I had more one to one care (every cloud and all that...) so I was helped with most feeds, my positioning corrected and when I left hospital I felt confident.

The journey begins...

Arriving home my short lived confidence disappeared, Little H would not settle and I couldn't seem to feed him properly. My breastfeeding battle coupled with coming to terms with his birth soon came to a head when we were told to return to hospital and take Little H to the paediatric ward because he had lost more than 10% of his birth weight. After everything that had happened I felt like a failure.

Then something amazing happened, on my final try before I gave in and started topping up with formula (something I have since learnt can be detrimental to breastfeeding, so beware) everything fell into place. Little H latched on, stayed latched on and fell into his first settled sleep since bringing him home. We were finally on our way.

After our very rocky start me and Little H settled into breastfeeding, he started to gain weight quickly and consistently and every weigh in was a pat on the back for both of us. I only expressed if we were going somewhere as I wasn't confident feeding in public. However due to a longer than planned shopping trip I had to feed Little H in an M&S cafe, trying to get him latched on while an elderly couple cooed over him. At the time I (wrongly) felt horribly uncomfortable, hiding Little H under my, thankfully, oversized cardigan. The experience gave me the courage to feed him in public and I have done ever since, only expressing if I have left him for any length of time. If Little H is hungry I will now feed him regardless of where we are and I'm unapologetic for it.

My little milk monster

We have had our moments though, before Little H got his first tooth there was some biting that very nearly had me reaching for the formula but yet again we persevered and as soon as the tooth broke through the biting stopped and never returned.

We're now at a point where I'm thinking of bringing our journey to an end. I'm struggling with the decision as I love breastfeeding , I love the closeness, I love how far we've come and the experience has been incredible, helping me regain confidence in myself and showing me that if I set my mind to something I can achieve it.

I know that a lot of mothers continue breastfeeding well after the first year and I don't have to stop but I think that for me it is time, although my level of certainty in that statement does change depending on my mood. I want my freedom back, well as much freedom as you can have with a, very soon to be, one year old, I want to give Little H some independence away from me and it would be nice to be able to wear dresses again.

However, every time I think about weaning a million and one reasons why I shouldn't come flooding to mind. The current reason/excuse is that Little H is under the weather and all that he want and all that will comfort him is for me to nurse him. How can I deny him the one thing that is guaranteed to make him feel better?

So, I would be very grateful for any advice on how to wean both myself and Little H off breastfeeding because it is definitely going to be emotional!