Top Tips for Breastfeeding

After the whole cash for breastfeeding news I thought I would give some - wait for it - advice based on my breastfeeding experience (gasp!) after all surely that's what women need - True, it won't buy you things but it might help you feed your baby and more importantly ENJOY feeding your baby.

Firstly get ready and prepare as much as you can. Read those handouts you get from the midwife, become familiar with the nose to nipple position and if there's one nearby, book yourself onto a breastfeeding class. Breastfeeding is natural so you may think it will come naturally, and for some it does, but others - like me - have to work at it. Research and preparation can only be useful!

Buy or hire a breast pump - manual, electric, double, single - there is one for you and even if you don't plan on pumping you never know when you might need it. After having H I pumped in the hospital and during the first week as we could get our positioning right and I just wanted to be certain he was getting something. Now I take it on nights away from H so I can empty by boobs and stay comfortable. I use the Medela electric pump and the Philips manual pump depending where I am. 

Vests are essential in my eyes if you want to feed discreetly as they allow you to get your boob out without showing your stomach which for me was important. Even 21 months down the line I still wear a vest under most outfits as I can lift up my top and pull the vest down so only minimal skin is exposed. I only use cheap camisole vests and never bought purpose made breastfeeding ones as I'm not convinced they are worth the money.

You need support from both your underwear and those around you! Underwear-wise I found Marks and Spencer's nursing bras were both good value and supportive, they also go up to the bigger sizes (34G in my case).
Finding and getting support from those around you is another matter. In those very stressful, tear filled early days I was lucky in having my sister to help me and check my positioning. If you don't have someone close by who can help you then I would recommend a breastfeeding group. Initially I went to one just because it followed a playgroup I attended but it was an excellent way to meet mums in the same position and ask more experienced mums any questions you may have.

Copious amounts of tea and cake are a must! Although, if like me you have to take iron tablets then tea is sadly a no-go an hour before or after taking them (or so I was advised). I must admit I did ignore this advice on a few occasions but that may be why I had to take iron tablets for nearly 6 months after having H. Cake however is everyone's friend. I used to time a slice of cake with a feed and just take the time to relax and rest. It might not be the sleep you're craving but it will help keep you sane.

To begin with you will probably find yourself watching your baby feed, altering position and stroking their tiny toes but at some point feeding times will require some entertainment to keep you occupied. A Kindle is a great buy because you can read it one handed, I've heard other people suggesting a subscription to Netflix as well so there's always something to watch whatever the time. 

A thick skin can come in handy when breastfeeding, especially if you opt for extended breastfeeding. Sadly breastfeeding isn't always seen as the norm so you may find yourself defending your choice. Don't take any comments to heart and trust your instincts. Also remember, the World Health Organisation, y'know the EXPERTS on health, recommend breastfeeding until your baby is at least 2 years old. This advised timescale is for women in the developed world and I've seen adverts from the U.S. and Australia which reflect this. Sadly I am yet to see this information distributed in the UK where the majority of literature states 6 months. (I may be wrong here so please tell me!)

So there you go, it might not buy you anything but hopefully it'll help make breastfeeding an enjoyable activity and not merely a money making opportunity!

Breastfeeding My Toddler

As its national breastfeeding week I thought I'd write an update on how H and I are getting on.

H is now 17 months and I'm still breastfeeding him. For the most part I love breastfeeding, I love the closeness and being able to comfort my son however there are times when it isn't all sweetness and light. H has taken to clambering over me, nursing for 15 seconds a side then switching and then switching again until finally settling down or hopping off. From what I've read this is "normal" but on a bad day it does make me lean towards weaning him.

H feeds first and last thing with another substantial feed either before his morning or afternoon nap and then a few sips throughout the day. He isn't brilliant at eating solids but in the past 2 weeks his drinking has increased ten fold. I know he'll get there with his eating, as with most things I'm just following his lead. He is also following the all important line in his red book so the HV is more than happy with him.

My feelings regarding weaning are ever changing and I've tried to read as much as I can to give myself a good idea of what's best for H and me. Ideally I would like him to self wean but at the same time I would prefer to have some idea of when that would be. For me I'm hoping for two years at the latest but I've read it can take months more than this, sometimes even years. I want to (mostly) enjoy breastfeeding and I worry after 2 years it will become more of a chore and an obstacle for future babies. Yes I know you can BF during pregnancy but is it for me?! 

I've chosen 2 years because (fingers crossed) all H's teeth will be through by then and when he's teething he feeds constantly. I love that I can feed H through teething and offer him comfort through nursing. It helps take a lot of the stress away from the situation.

I like the idea of gentle weaning and I'm thinking of implementing this at around 18 months which is when I want to stop night feeds. H still wakes up at least twice for a feed in the night and because we co-sleep the easiest thing is to feed him back to sleep.

The best thing about gentle weaning is that it takes H's emotional needs into account and minimises any distress. Guiding him to wean as opposed to forcing him. 

All this being said I am still very sure of my choice for extended breastfeeding - the massive amounts of benefits don't suddenly become void once a baby reaches 6 months and I think emotion-wise they actually increase. If H is overwhelmed in a situation he often has a quick 15 second feed and then he's off. I also don't worry about him depending on me, he's very sociable and I've read that extended breastfed babies (that's a mouthful!) are often more independent as they are more secure. 

As with all my BF posts this one is a bit of a jumble which nicely echoes my internal thoughts! Every decision I make I second guess and in the end I do just go with what makes H happiest (within reason). In an ideal world H will self wean in the next few months but we'll see and hopefully I'll be able to gradually wean him if not... I'll keep you posted!

Fasting Diet : Part 7

After the last disappointing weigh ins I have been much more focused this week, I stuck to my exercise goals and kept an eye on my calories on both fasting and normal days so I was quite excited (yeah I don't get out much) to see how I'd done.

Well it has definitely been worth it as I have lost 2 and a half pounds this week bringing my total to 17 and a quarter pounds!

This also means I've only got 4 pounds and three quarters to go to reach my next target.

I've not tweaked my fasting days yet as I haven't felt the need to but I am planning on going to the gym tomorrow (a fast day) so I might have to add a yoghurt just to make sure I can get some sleep. Also as I'm breastfeeding I need to make sure my supply doesn't decrease otherwise I will have a grumpy boy on my hands!

I must say I have really enjoyed the gym this week, a bit of time to myself just to clear my head has done wonders and although H has been clingy I think it's good for both of us to have a bit of time apart. I've mainly been working on the treadmill, interchanging fast walking and running, the bike, the cross trainer and a few minutes on the rowing machine - I'm trying to change the order I do things to stop it getting boring. 

My workouts tend to last an hour and I'm thinking of maybe going to Zumba this week rather than one of my gym sessions.

I am also on track with the crunch and squat challenges - I can definitely feel my stomach muscles when I'm doing my crunches and my legs shake after the squats so all in all I'm feeling like I'm getting a good bonus workout from them.

This week I'll be sticking to my exercise plan and see if I can replicate the weight loss - fingers crossed!

Fasting Diet : Part 6

I didn't get a chance to blog last week but it was a disappointing weigh in.

After a very boozy day and night on Saturday, topped off with all manner of deep fried beauties, I put on 2 pounds.

Although I was expecting it I was still pretty disappointed - breastfeeding has been my saving grace as I can't drink too much so days like this are thankfully few and far between.

This week I lost 1 pound and three quarters so I'm not quite back to where I was but I'm getting there.

The weight gain also gave me a real push to get a bit more serious about dieting and boost the exercise side, one thing I've been putting off but that (fingers crossed) will make a big difference.

I even took the big step, for me anyway, of joining the local gym. I have never been a massive fan of the gym but this way I also get 3 baby free hours a week and working out at home isn't the easiest with a dog and baby using me as a climbing frame while I struggle to do a push up!

So since Tuesday morning (weigh in day) I've stuck to my new exercise plan and although I feel tired and hungry, I'm determined to keep going.

A quick outline of my exercise plan is -

Gym three times a week for an hour

One 3 mile walk

Four 2 mile walks

30 day crunch and squat challenge (I'm starting these from the beginning).

This gives me an average of over an hour of exercise a day which I'm pleased with and praying I can stick with it.

I am planning to look at my fasting though, last night I couldn't sleep due to hunger pains so ended up eating a yoghurt at half 2 - suffice to say once I'd attacked the Munch Bunch pot I fell into a well deserved slumber! My workout this morning was also impeded because I was so hungry so the plan is to eat an extra 100 calories before bedtime on a fast day but only if I'm planning a workout the morning after - I'll see what this does to the weight loss and if needed tweak it again.

Fasting Diet - Part 5

So 5 posts in and I'm still on track with the fasting diet which is quite an achievement for me.

Last week I stayed the same which was a disappointment but this week the scales say that I've lost.... A pound!

That brings my total weight loss to 15 pounds.

The fast days this week have been harder than usual, Little H has a virus AND he's teething so there have been a few days where he's foregone food and just filled up on breastmilk. This in turn has bumped up my hunger but I've stuck to the 500 calories, even though I went to bed planning the next day's meals with military precision.

OH has also got serious about doing the 5:2 diet which makes it easier and we've been able to keep each other on track.

Exercise wise I'm still walking a lot and I'm now on day 17 of the squat challenge - it's getting much harder but I'm still managing to do them as well as the same number of bridges and twists and a move called good and plenty (not its actual name but I saw it on the goddess workout once and it works the abs!) you basically start with you bum and stomach pushed out then tilt your pelvis to contract them both and squeeze your abs.

I've been getting more comments this week as people are beginning to notice my weight loss - this is a good boost, especially if they come on a fast day! My clothes are also fitting much better and my belts are nearly all too big.

Here's hoping for another good week!

Fasting Diet - Part 4

Last week was not a good week diet-wise.

I ate like a horse and didn't do as much exercise as I wanted, partly due to the crap weather and partly due to being too busy (ok maybe too lazy...)

So what do the scales say... No change.

I'm happy not to have gained anything but I am disappointed in myself, I'm trying to use this as a push to get back on track and reach my next goal.

I've walked 9 miles so far this week* and I'm on day 9 of the squat challenge, alongside this I'm doing the same number of bridges and twists - I'm not too concerned about arm based exercises as carrying a 24 pound toddler seems to be doing the trick!

So here's hoping I can stay on track this week and report on some more lost pounds next week!

* I should say that my fasting weeks run from Tuesday to Monday.

Fasting Diet - Part 3

Another week down and I'm still committed to the fasting diet.

I wouldn't say I enjoy the fast days but if I feel like I've overindulged I do look forward to a fast day to clear my system out. I have noticed that since starting this diet I haven't suffered from any bloating or stomach aches like I used. I also have more energy and I'm a lot more motivated to exercise, even if its just going for a quick walk.

In fact if I have planned to go for a walk and it doesn't happen I feel like a coiled spring that needs to be stretched out! This has happened today so I plan to do some indoor exercises instead.

So how is the weight loss going?.... Well as of this morning I have lost A STONE!!

I'm really thrilled and getting to a nice round amount has given me a boost - I've also had a few people telling me I look slimmer which is always nice!

I should also say that although the fasting days aren't easy, I haven't felt stressed or like I'm struggling with this diet. I also don't feel deprived of anything and if I know I'm going out I can just move my fast day.

So now I've reached my first goal I have my eyes on the next one which is to lose another 8 pounds.

I am splitting up my weight loss for two reasons, firstly I think it can be too daunting to say, for example, I want to lose 2 stone. This is because, from past experience, I've found that even after a few weeks of weight loss the end goal can seem so far from reach that you lose focus and inevitably (for me anyway) you give up.

Secondly I don't have a fixed end goal, so I'm taking it one target a time. I might find that if/when I lose 8 pounds I'm happy with my weight and decide to stop there. Or I might feel I have a bit more to lose. If I have myself a definite goal though I wouldn't be fully happy until I reached it even if I find that it is unattainable or I really had to punish myself to get there I would feel have a part of me that would feel like I've given up to soon.

So here's to my next target, and keeping my focus and motivation on track!

First Trip To The Dentist

A few weeks ago I posted about not being sure that I was cleaning H's teeth properly and worrying because he was refusing to have his teeth brushed and it was becoming somewhat of an issue.

I had also noticed that on two of his front teeth he had small yellow patches. After looking on Google (I can't help myself) I was concerned it might be decay due to his night feeds.

As I was at the baby clinic a few days later I mentioned it to the Health Visitor who had a quick look and admitted that it wasn't her remit but it was very unlikely to be decay and to not worry so much about cleaning his teeth. Yes it is important but sometimes it's wise to pick your battles and warring with a teething baby is a lose-lose situation so on these occasions a quick brush or wipe with a cold, damp cloth will do. As I was booked in at the dentist she suggested booking H in at the same time and getting an expert opinion.

So this week Little H, Mr B and I went to the dentist. As I am scared of the dentist, and not wanting to pass this onto H, Mr B watched him while I had my appointment (I have excellent brushing skills apparently) and then it was H's turn. I explained my worries with the dentist and he had a good look, counting the teeth and checking his gums at the same time.

Thankfully H's teeth are perfect and his gums are healthy. The dentist said that the first signs of decay manifest in the gums and H's are perfect and that my brushing has been great(!) the yellow marks on his teeth are just how they have formed and it is very common but nothing to worry about.

Again he said that toddlers will go through stages where they don't want their teeth brushed, especially when teething, and just letting them chomp on a tooth brush will be fine as it will disperse the toothpaste and get some cleaning done.

So I'm now a lot less anxious about teeth brushing and I've learnt that Google is not even close to being the all-knowing reference that I think it is. Will that stop me looking up every symptom? Probably not!

5:2 Fasting Diet - Part 2

I've been continuing the fasting diet and its definitely getting a lot easier as the weeks go by.

That's not to say that I don't still get hungry on fasting days, right now I'm trying to drown my hunger pangs with copious amounts of water, but I've got myself into a routine which helps.

So how much have I lost doing this diet?... 12 pounds!!

That's only 2 pounds off a stone and that is helping keep me motivated and spur me on for another week. I'm hoping this time next week I will have reached the stone mark but we'll see.

I am doing light exercise alongside this to help move the weight loss along and also to tone up but although I could do more I struggle to find the time.

A week's worth of exercise usually includes 2 or 3 2.5 mile walks and doing 15 mins of toning exercises 4 or 5 times a week.

Although this doesn't sound like much this is also coupled with running around after a toddler and walks around the village, to classes etc. and I know exercise is one thing I can push forward with once the weight loss slows down.

I'm really hoping for a 2 pound loss this week just to bring it up to a nice even stone but we shall see!

The Trouble With Teeth

Being a mum has led me to conclude that teeth are pesky little things.

Those pearly whites that give me a jolt of excitement every time I see a new one poking through pink gum are becoming an issue.

It's not the teething that is bothering me, although with 4 molars coming through undisturbed sleep feels like a distant memory, it's the upkeep of the teeth which have popped through.

Brushing Little H's teeth has become a combat situation. I've tried brushing mine at the same time, letting him brush them before finishing them off, sitting him in front of the mirror and about 1000 other things people have recommended. Alas, none of these things work and even the sight of the toothbrush sends H running away.

It hasn't always been like this, H has yo-yoed from enjoying his teeth being brushed, accepting it and downright refusing it!

Little H does only drink breastmilk or water but he eats a lot of fruit and purées and the odd bit of chocolate so I want to ensure his teeth are cleaned properly.

I do think at the moment it's partly due to the aforementioned molars but I don't want to give up brushing his teeth until they are through as by then I'm sure some other ones will be making their way up to the gum line.

So what is the solution? At the moment all I'm managing is a quick swipe of the brush over his teeth but I'm worried this isn't enough.

H is booked in for H's first dentist appointment in a few weeks and I'm hoping I have managed to keep his teeth healthy.

If you have any tips for a desperate mum then please let me know!

5:2 Fasting Diet

Mr B and I have been doing the diet of the moment for a few weeks now and as diets go it isn't too bad.

The first few weeks were hard and it took a lot of willpower to carry on but now we've got into a routine with it every week is getting easier (fingers crossed).

If you haven't heard about the diet then the premise is to choose 2 days a week, which mustn't be consecutive, I imagine its because you'd pass out from hunger if they were, and you eat only 500 calories on these days (600 for men). On the other 5 days you eat normally and keep the calorie intake under 2000 (men get 2500 - lucky b******s).

On the fasting days I personally prefer to have cups of tea for breakfast and lunch, maybe a rice cake if I'm getting hungry, and then have a filling dinner. I've found carb based meals are best - baked potatoes, risottos, and couscous fill you up but they do need weighing out so I don't exceed the limit. I also save 31 calories to have 1 chocolate (kinder schokobon) at around 9pm when Little H is asleep and I can have a bit of me time.

There are times when I could quite happily and easily eat the whole contents of my fridge, including the very questionable condiments I keep pushing to the back. But I just think well I'll eat so and so tomorrow and it keeps me on track, and by the time tomorrow comes I've forgotten about it.

Surprisingly on non-fast days I now don't eat as much as I did in the first few weeks, I think I'm getting used an empty stomach and I no longer need a biscuit with my cup of tea.

Others who have reportedly tried this diet include Miranda Kerr (probably the only thing we have in common) Philip Schofield and Chris Evans.

So, how much weight have I lost? After all that's the true testament of a diet...

10 pounds!!

I'm really chuffed with this as after getting to my pre-pregnancy weight I've really struggled to shift anymore but this diet seems to be doing the trick!

Car Park Rage

Like clockwork my trip to the shops has caused the red mist of rage to descend. Why? The misuse of parent and child car parking spaces.

These spaces aren't just a nice gesture to those with children, they are a necessity which is why when they are full there is often no choice but to wait. The alternative being that I could try and park in a normal space, struggle to get my 24lb wriggle monster (when awake) or dead weight (when asleep) out of a 10 inch space. Then I'd have to hope that on my return to the car no one has parked too close to me, making getting my child into his car seat an impossible task.

This week a certain mother/woman/person hating journalist (I won't say who as I refuse to give her the publicity) wrote an article proudly declaring that she parks in both disabled and parent and child spaces. 

Her reasons? Well she is deaf so she argues that is a disability - fair poin but it's not one that requires you extra space to get out of your car though is it? 

And why does she park in parent and child? Well bizarrely she rants that parents take their children to museums and galleries - the horror! - she should invade their space. She also goes on to make more disturbing arguments but I'll leave it at that.

Shame on the paper in question for publishing this woman's crazy rant but the thing about this so called journalist is I think she is just being inflammatory to get hits and comments, I'm not so sure she does what she says - but if she does then I guess it's to be expected from a person who is always the victim. Unfortunately whether she does do it or not, I'm worried that her article will make others think it's ok.

Ever week I see people using the spaces with no children in tow. Not one for conflict, I just stare while shaking my head but every week I come closer to making a stand. The thing is, they are no closer to the supermarket, I know some can be, they just have extra space. So why do people continue to park there? What is the appeal?

A few days ago I found myself discussing the cut off point for using these spaces because let's face it, they aren't designed for parents and their 18 year old children are they? The general consensus, which I agree with, is that if your child can get in and out of the car and their car seat without your help then you don't need the extra room. 

Today I saw two people parking in the spaces with children that weren't in car seats. This annoys me because they will at one point, have struggled with car seats and babies and probably cursed those who abuse the spaces. Yet now they do the same - have they forgotten how hard it was?

Thankfully some places are starting to fine those who wrongfully park in parent and child, when asked how they know I was told that they look for child paraphanalia in the car. Will a £60 charge reduce the offenders? I certainly hope so and I also hope that this is rolled out to more car parks. At the moment I only know of two places that do this.

What do you think? Am I being too harsh - should any parent and child be able to use the spaces? Are they just a gesture, a bonus when empty? 

Our Breastfeeding Journey - An Update

A few months ago I wrote about feeling that the time had come to wean Little H and wrap up our breastfeeding journey, I even had a date in mind (26th February or failing that 22nd March).

Alas, you know what they say about best laid plans and all, I am still breastfeeding and do you know what I have no regrets and I am, for the most part, enjoying it as much as ever.

Our feeding "routine" generally consists of a feed first thing, one mid morning, one late afternoon, one before bed and, if I'm lucky, one during the night. This is a very general view though as some days I can't detach Little H from me and other times he'll go for hours on end without wanting any milk. Also, unlike the early days a "feed" can be a 2 minute suckle used as a crutch to get Little H to sleep or it can be a 15 minute refuel before the next adventure.

There have been worries on my part that H is feeding too much, often foregoing solids for milk, however restricting milk hasn't worked and I'm slowly coming to the conclusion that he just isn't a big eater - he will try and (usually) enjoy many things but in terms of quantity he can vary from a few bites to demolishing a plateful while my back is turned.

I've also had comments that he's feeding too much from various people, not something an already worry prone mum needs to hear, no matter how concerned you may or may not be FYI! A trip to the health visitor eased my angst though, she declared Little H a "snacker" and told me in no uncertain terms that you cannot breastfeed too much, no matter the age of the child. I should add that I do give Little H a dose of vitamins every day just to silence the residual worries.

My gorgeous Milk Monster!

When I was proactively trying to wean H we did come across a pretty big stumbling block, a possible allergy to cow's milk. It's hasn't been proven and strangely he can eat cheese/yoghurt/formula but a drink of milk will sometimes, not always, cause an angry red rash to spread wherever the milk has touched. This rash, it should be said, is a bugger because it appears with no rhyme or reason, broccoli, cauliflower, fish and porridge to name a few have all brought it on but not every time Little H has eaten them. A trip to the doctors left me with more questions than answers and a prescription for a big bottle of Piriton for when it happens.

I was told by the HV to keep a record of Little H's reactions to cow's milk for at least a month and they would investigate if necessary. Timing foiled my plans though as he was poorly on and off for a month and I refused to add to this by giving him something that may or may not have made him feel worse. Instead I tried him on follow on milk and (touch wood) he has taken this with no ill effects.

As I mentioned, Little H can have formula and seemingly enjoys it when I'm not there, if I am there though he will not be fooled - he is a stubborn one! This is a major relief for me as I don't have to express for days on end now before leaving him with anyone and in time I can start to replace feeds knowing that he does like it, just maybe not as much as booby juice!

In the meantime though I ŵill continue breastfeeding, and try not too moan too much about feeling like a dairy cow!

How To: Cookie Monster Cake!

It has been a very busy time in the B household since Little H's first birthday party and I haven't had a chance to blog, our dodgy wifi has also played a part too!

A few months ago I was browsing Pinterest when I saw a picture of a Cookie Monster cake and I thought that it would be perfect for Little H's first birthday, the only problem being that it didn't have any instructions. However, being as stubborn as I am and also being slightly overly confident with my cake decorating skills I thought I would be able to recreate it, after all Little H was only going to turn 1 once!

Cookies... Nom nom nom...!

This is the finished cake and I am still proud of it even though all that's left is photos as it was finished off at H's party, as you would expect from a birthday cake!

A few people have asked me how I made it and I regret not taking step by step pictures but I will go through what I did and as my friend has asked for an Elmo cake for her birthday (April) I will try to remember so I can do a proper post!

Firstly I made a chocolate cake using a 22cm tin, for decorating you will need...

140g butter
280g icing sugar
A couple of drops of milk
Blue food colouring
Ready to roll icing in white and black
Chocolate chip cookies
Piping bags
Icing nozzle 233

I cut out a large semi circle freehand from the ready to roll black icing, this was then placed onto the cake where the mouth would be.

To make the buttercream icing beat the butter until soft and then add the icing sugar bit by bit, when it is all mixed in add a few drops of milk to get the required consistency, you want the icing to be thick enough to hold its shape but not to firm as it will be difficult to push it through the icing nozzle. Add the food colouring slowly, for these amounts I added one and a half teaspoons - check the label on the food colouring as there tends to be a limit to how much you can use.

Once the buttercream is mixed fully and is the right shade spoon it into your piping bag with the magical 233 nozzle - if I could be in love with an icing nozzle then this would be it, with its magical fur making skills!

The brilliant, if a little blurry, 233 icing nozzle

You need to push the icing and pull away when the it reaches about 1.5-2cm, I also pulled slightly in different directions to give it a more realistic fur look. I started by outlining the black icing semi circle and then worked in sections - don't forget the sides either. Also look at the cake from different angles as I found there were a few bald spots.

After the cake was covered in fur I then cut out 2 circles from white ready roll icing and rolled 2 balls using black ready roll icing - I then assembled the eyes and flattened the black balls keeping a slight curve, these were then placed onto the cake.

I finished off the cake by adding the cookies onto the mouth and voila! Cookie Monster came to Little H's first birthday!

Little H is Turning One!

Tomorrow Little H turns one and he'll no longer be my little baby!

I still can't get my head around where the time has gone, it feels like only a few weeks have passed since bringing him home but alas a whole 12 months have gone in the blink of an eye! And what a 12 months they've been...

Just a few weeks old...

We've had sleepless nights, at least 10,000 nappy changes, the first smile, laugh, crawl, step and walk and it has been incredible, even if at the time I was pulling my hair out!

So happy birthday for tomorrow Little H, we are so proud of the little boy you are turning into - you make us laugh every day with your adventures and explorations and I can't wait to see what this year brings! Fingers crossed it includes some full nights sleep for Mummy!

...to this!

I'm now off to make a birthday cake for my amazing son!

To Wean Or Not To Wean: Our Breastfeeding Journey

From the point that I found out that I was pregnant with Little H I was determined to breastfeed, I grabbed the leaflets from the midwives at check ups, I was well versed on the benefits and I had studied all of the latching positions, planning for every eventuality.

Then Little H arrived and I was turned upside down.

His birth, a moment that I had dreamed about, was drawn out, traumatic and ended in me haemorrhaging. Because of this we missed out on the immediate skin to skin contact that I had just taken as a given, and for the first night he slept in the nursery and was fed formula while I recovered.

The next morning he was brought to me and our breastfeeding journey began. It was so much harder than I had ever thought it would be and what was meant to be the most natural thing in the world did not come naturally to me. Being on the special care ward meant that I had more one to one care (every cloud and all that...) so I was helped with most feeds, my positioning corrected and when I left hospital I felt confident.

The journey begins...

Arriving home my short lived confidence disappeared, Little H would not settle and I couldn't seem to feed him properly. My breastfeeding battle coupled with coming to terms with his birth soon came to a head when we were told to return to hospital and take Little H to the paediatric ward because he had lost more than 10% of his birth weight. After everything that had happened I felt like a failure.

Then something amazing happened, on my final try before I gave in and started topping up with formula (something I have since learnt can be detrimental to breastfeeding, so beware) everything fell into place. Little H latched on, stayed latched on and fell into his first settled sleep since bringing him home. We were finally on our way.

After our very rocky start me and Little H settled into breastfeeding, he started to gain weight quickly and consistently and every weigh in was a pat on the back for both of us. I only expressed if we were going somewhere as I wasn't confident feeding in public. However due to a longer than planned shopping trip I had to feed Little H in an M&S cafe, trying to get him latched on while an elderly couple cooed over him. At the time I (wrongly) felt horribly uncomfortable, hiding Little H under my, thankfully, oversized cardigan. The experience gave me the courage to feed him in public and I have done ever since, only expressing if I have left him for any length of time. If Little H is hungry I will now feed him regardless of where we are and I'm unapologetic for it.

My little milk monster

We have had our moments though, before Little H got his first tooth there was some biting that very nearly had me reaching for the formula but yet again we persevered and as soon as the tooth broke through the biting stopped and never returned.

We're now at a point where I'm thinking of bringing our journey to an end. I'm struggling with the decision as I love breastfeeding , I love the closeness, I love how far we've come and the experience has been incredible, helping me regain confidence in myself and showing me that if I set my mind to something I can achieve it.

I know that a lot of mothers continue breastfeeding well after the first year and I don't have to stop but I think that for me it is time, although my level of certainty in that statement does change depending on my mood. I want my freedom back, well as much freedom as you can have with a, very soon to be, one year old, I want to give Little H some independence away from me and it would be nice to be able to wear dresses again.

However, every time I think about weaning a million and one reasons why I shouldn't come flooding to mind. The current reason/excuse is that Little H is under the weather and all that he want and all that will comfort him is for me to nurse him. How can I deny him the one thing that is guaranteed to make him feel better?

So, I would be very grateful for any advice on how to wean both myself and Little H off breastfeeding because it is definitely going to be emotional!

The First Weigh In

My weight loss this week is... Drum roll please... 2 pounds!

I'm really happy with that as I have been upping my exercise but haven't been starving myself, or even come close to be honest! I'm sure as I get further along I might have to tweak my diet if I want to continue losing weight but for now I'm just concentrating on the exercise.

I've stuck to my outlined plan and managed to fit in 4 walks and 4 lots of cardio as well. There have been a few occasions where I've had to split the cardio and do 10 minutes here and there rather than all at once due to a certain grumpy teething baby!  I have really enjoyed my walks as Little H will nod off and it gives me a chance to organise my thoughts and make plans.

This week I read that if you do an action 18 times it will become a habit so I'm hoping that I'll get to the point where I don't have to force myself off the sofa and instead just do the exercise without really having to think about it.

I should point out that this picture is not of me, I would LOVE to be this weight!

The weather this week may hamper my walks so I'll be upping my cardio and adding some weight bearing exercises instead, here's hoping I can lose the same again!

Teething

There is little else that will guarantee the groans of sympathy you get when you mention teething. It is an inevitable milestone but one that goes on and on like no other. My personal theory on wisdom teeth is that we get them later in life so the memories of pain are fresh allowing us empathy in those small hours when we've been woken up for the fifth/sixth/seventh time.

Little H is teething at the moment, number 7, 8, 9 and 10 are all coming through at the same time and suffice to say it's taking it's toll on all of us. He is not a great sleeper at the best of times but add teething to the mix and night time has now turned into a combination of feeding, crying, napping and sometimes all three at the same time.

This morning I had to force myself to go on a walk especially when the sofa looked so much more inviting. Little H had a nice long nap but the second we walked through the door he began howling, timing seems to be a special skill of his! He's also had a few naps on the sofa and even the dog seems to be feeling his pain!

Little H doesn't like the teething toys you can buy so the best tips I've been given (so far) are -

Freezing the yogurts you buy in tubes
Keep apple/cucumber/melon slices in the fridge
Use calpol and ibuprofen in tandem with each other (I only do this if it's really necessary)

Above all though I think cuddles and TLC are the best medicine, Little H is more clingy than usual but hey, I just enjoy the extra cuddles!

The very first post...

I have been wanting to write my own blog for a while now, ever since I discovered how much I enjoyed it at my previous job, but I could never find the time/use laptop around the baby/enter generic excuse here. However today two things collided, first of all I decided what my first post would be about and secondly I found I could blog on my iPad (how I didn't know this before is beyond me!)

So what was my aforementioned idea of a first blog... Weight loss! Ta dah! Now bear with me because a) I know there are hundreds of weight loss blogs out there and b) this is not what I want to focus my blog on but I have embarked on Operation Lose A Stone Before My Birthday (OP-LASBMB if you will) and I need an extra motivator so talking about it on here will, fingers crossed, give me that extra push that I need!

I have been using Pinterest to get a fitness board together - unfortunately having the board is only the beginning, you also need to do the exercises as well and two days in I am tired and achy but still riding the novelty wave. I should point out that my birthday is in March so it's not an unacheivable goal and I definitely have the weight to lose. I'm going to try to eat a bit better but to be honest I love food so it's exercise that will get me to my goal weight, not starving myself!

The reason I've started my mission is because Little H is nearly one and I finally feel ready to take on regular exercise. Up until now I've depended on breastfeeding and carrying Little H about but it's time to accept that this isn't enough. I also want to get back into shape as Little H is getting faster and I want/need to be able to keep up with him - I also want to look good in a bikini but that's going to be a long shot! 

A quick rundown of my exercise plan is - 

20 mins cardio 4 times a week
2 mile walk 4 times a week

It's not anything spectacular and I'm sure I'll have to step it up at some stage but as a starting point I think it's pretty good - if you have any tips let me know! 

Every week I aim to do a quick post on how things are going so far and hopefully I'll reach my goal (and not bore you in the process!)